I had a conversation the other day with somebody looking to start a new program. They didn’t want to share pictures with me initially; they were embarrassed. Later I found myself in a conversation with a different group of ladies that were saying they were nervous about gyms opening back up. They felt they had put on weight during the social distancing period and were embarrassed to “start over” again. To be honest, I ended the day feeling a little sad over the whole thing. There were five women with intentions of living a healthy lifestyle and looking to make changes. This should have been exciting and motivation should have been through the roof. But instead, they were focused on being embarrassed by their current situation; their current LOOKS. Wait, what??? These ladies should have been thinking about new gym clothes and counting down the days until they could be back in the gym getting their fitness on. These ladies should NOT have been thinking about their value being tied to how they look. Then I realized this is a common problem. So many are judged based on the scale rather than their actions. Here are five ways to ignore the negative thoughts in your head and learn to love your journey.

1. Remember your why: It’s easy to become caught up and overwhelmed when starting a new program. But there’s a reason you chose to make a change. Did your health require you to make adjustments to your daily routine and diet? Are you trying to inspire your children? Are you just trying to feel energized enough to keep up with your children?! Are you planning a fancy photoshoot in the future? Are you getting ready for a nice beach vacation? There are a million different reasons why you might have decided to start a fitness or nutrition program. When you start to find yourself second-guessing the steps, remember the why. There’s a goal and in order to achieve it, you have to act!!! Reaching that goal is far more important than the fear in your head. Wake up each day and say to yourself, “I am doing this because of _____”.

2. Remember this is about progress, not perfection: This is certainly one I have to remind myself often. I get caught up in what the end result is supposed to be and become frustrated when I’m not there. It’s not going to happen overnight. And honestly, it wouldn’t be as fun if it did. I like seeing myself change and improve over time. I enjoy the process. It’s a reminder that I’m earning something. Focus on the journey.

3. Track your progress: Part of making step 2 work is to track your changes. When you look at yourself every day it’s sometimes hard to see those changes. But if you take pictures or measurements each week, you have something to look back on and really grasp the whole journey.

4. Become your own best friend: Would you tell your best friend that she’s not worthy of good things? Would you tell her that she’s less of a person because she’s currently a little heavier than she wants to be? Would you celebrate her decision to make a change and encourage her every step of the way? Stop beating yourself up and start talking to yourself the way you would your best friend. When you focus on the negative you invite more negative to your world.

5. STOP associating worth with appearance: I know, it’s easier said than done. But who you are is completely independent of what you look like. Your value as a person, mother, wife, friend, daughter, employee, etc. has absolutely nothing to do with what size pants you wear. Ok, if your career is modeling then maybe your value as an employee with your current modeling contract is partially dependent on your pants size. But even that’s not concrete. What you have to offer the world and your family doesn’t include bathing suit size requirements. Focus more on who you are, NOT what you look like.

It’s scary to start something new. It’s scary to step outside of our comfort zone. It’s scary to put ourselves out there to be judged. But at the end of the day, we have to remember that how others judge us is actually irrelevant. Who cares what other people think of you if you’re taking care of your responsibilities and doing you. Be proud of who you are and be prouder of the fact that you’re making a change for the better.