This morning, and even as I sit here typing this I had to dish out a heavy dose of tough love…to myself. Last night I was angry. At nothing. At everything. I needed a juice box and pack of animal crackers. Poor Benji. He’s such a trooper. I get cranky and he just rubs my back like I’m a baby and tries to put me to sleep, lol. I’m tired. We just finished up a two week long turnaround at work. That made for long days on top of the training, cardio , and regular meal prep. Yes, I realize that is the norm for a lot of people. But it’s a change to my routine to it required some adjustments. I’m hungry. All.The.Time. I didn’t sleep much last night. So basically I woke up super toddler like. I took my check-in pictures and wanted to throw a tantrum right there in the kitchen. I HATED the way they looked. I was so frustrated because all week long I could see big changes. But this morning’s pictures didn’t show what I was seeing. I looked soft and fluffy. (I was also forced to get a new phone this weekend and I’m sorry, but the new iPhone camera is garbage compared to the old. I look like an 80’s computer game with the new camera). I took pictures Saturday because I was so excited with the changes. 10 times better than this morning. But whatever. I took my frustrated self to the gym and did my cardio. Then I had a second posing session. What did I see two hours later? A complete change. I looked much tighter in round two. I’m sending those to coach and telling him to ignore the first ones, lol. I had to remind myself that there’s more to the story than a one-time snapshot. I felt like I looked soft and squishy this morning and after sweating out some water, I looked tight. I barely slept. I’ve been been stressed and frustrated. I’ve been doing and feeling all the things that raise cortisol levels. Of course my pictures will show that. Of course I won’t be at my best when I let all of the little things get in my head.
I tell clients all the time that you can’t judge all of your progress off of one picture, one scale reading, one day. There are many reasons for fluctuations in how you look and feel from day to day. But trust and follow the process and it will come together. Prep makes me forget to take my own advice sometimes. It’s so easy to look at it with a reasonable mindset when it’s somebody else. It’s so easy for me to look at client pictures and see their progress and their hard work paying off. But it’s also easy to look at my own and see, now how far I’ve come but how much more I have to go. Don’t get me wrong, that drive it helpful. Especially when I’m six weeks from the big stage. BUT, that push and motivation CANNOT come with frustration and the feeling that I’m not enough. So this morning I had to remind myself that I’ve come a long way, I’m making progress daily, and at the end of it all, I AM good enough. Now it’s time to dig deep, push harder, and remember to be proud of what I have and will accomplish.
